


Broken Cycle

by JJbad



Series: Threads of Fate [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Not Happy, Oral Sex, Possessive Behavior, Rimming, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:22:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJbad/pseuds/JJbad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A cycle is a series of occurrences that repeats or is repeated. </p><p>Stiles hated cycles almost as much as he hated those damn walls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Cycle

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Thin Wall](https://archiveofourown.org/works/663513) by [Tassos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tassos/pseuds/Tassos). 



> A/N Alright! This is my first Teen Wolf story as well as sex. I hope that this is as good as the original. I tried to convey the exact feelings of"The Thin Wall". Mine can be seen as a sequel. 
> 
> Here is a youtube playlist which I made to help me write this and you can listen as well I think it kind of conveys the feeling of this story.[Playlist](http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLteRlIL-Cv3Wzn4KlFRI3DHtARieKD7aH&feature=mh_lolz)

Broken Cycle

Walls.

Walls were not a bad thing, they offered protection. Walls also offered a place to keep all your troubles locked behind. Sure it always had four corners and the scenery would get irritating to look at from time to time, but they were always a constant. To some people they felt like a cage. Walls, they won’t hurt you or judge you they will be what they are and that is an enclosed place. They were usually thick and tended to keep sound out. The thing is not all walls are that thick and he hated that. He really hated thin walls. 

The door opening broke him out his reverie. He was on the floor knees against his chest and arms encircling them with his head down. His eyes were red from crying and his face was stained with the wet streak of tears, his throat was raw and dry from the silent sobbing he did. It hurt to breath and he couldn’t even remember the last time he ate. All he could hear were the sounds that penetrated the wall. The door opening gave him some relief as he realized that it was done. At least this cycle was done. She’d be back again and again till she either died or Derek told her to stop coming. He knew that the older man wouldn’t forbid her from coming here during her heat and that hurt him a little bit. Did he mean so little Derek? 

“Stiles,” the voice was softer then it normally was, although it didn’t show any deep emotion. It wasn’t soft as if in comfort, yet it wasn’t the voice that he used when angry or close to showing his wolf form. It was reminiscent of a general giving orders and that upset him more. Was someone who claimed they were in love with you supposed to be that distant? He wasn’t just someone who he had just met on the street. Stiles was supposed to be his mate. He didn’t deserve the cold indifference that the other was showing. He would have preferred anger over this emotion. 

It was always the same though; Derek would come back into the room and speak to him in that distant voice. He wasn’t upset with the other. Was the other man even sorry for what he done? No, the other man wasn’t sorry. He did what he had to do for pack no matter how much it hurt other people. He usually always did tell him to leave, although it tended to contradict some other things he said. 

_‘Your heartbeat usually offers me comfort. Sometimes I need to listen to it to make sure you are alive. That you are still safe and no matter what I do you will still be here for me.’_

He could remember the man saying that to him, once, twice. How many times had Derek said that to him? That he needed to feel his presence. That it offered him comfort in no matter what he did. If he really heard his heartbeat he would be able to tell that he was hurting his so called mate. He should know that his heart would speed up with worry when one of them came. A deaf man didn’t even have to hear his heartbeat to know that he was hurting; a blind man didn’t even have to see him to know he was in pain. Like right now the man probably didn’t even want to pay attention to the other’s tears. He knew that if he did, he’d say something he’d most likely regret. They’d get into an argument about Stiles leaving. It was Isaacs’ second time when he first started to feel this way. He snapped the third time Erica came around. 

_“If you have a problem with it leave. It was this way before you and it will be this way after you!”Derek yelled, his eyes turning red in fury as Stiles back up to escape those eyes. It wasn’t often that he was scared of the other. This was one of those times he was petrified of the Werewolf and it didn’t sit right with him, you should not fear those you loved or those who said they loved you._

It was a little before that when he had told him that he was his mate. That he’d do anything for him and that he’d give him the world if he asked. 

Lies, was ever thing he said lies? He shouldn’t have said anything like that if they were lies. A false truth is the worst thing to give to a person. It cut deeper than any wound could, hurt the psyche and made someone feel as if they were nothing. Did Derek want him to feel like he was nothing? He thought the man enjoyed his fiery temper and the fact that he wouldn’t back down, the fact that he was willing to give everything if it was asked. That was the kind of person he was. Derek though-

What exactly was Derek? He had a lot of problems, Kate was a big one in his past, but she was gone. She fucked him up in the head and that led to him being the way he was. The fact that he felt that he couldn’t get close to anyone. That woman had hurt the Hales in ways that Derek, Peter, and Laura never quite healed from. It caused Peter to go insane and caused Derek to emotionally withdraw. 

He had to wonder about the man’s past after that. Who else had he told? Had he made false promises to them also to get them in his bed? To make them do what he asked? Were they just as devoted as he was and easily manipulated. The sex wasn’t everything in their relationship it was something else, something that felt it connected the two of them. It was a force that kept them coming back to each other time and time again. The same thing that kept him from leaving. 

Every. 

Single. 

Time. 

“Stiles,” Derek said, this time a bit of anger to his voice. He knew that the other man wanted his attention and he had to give it. The fact that his mate needed to know the other was the center of his universe. 

That was the thing he was looking for: emotion. That is what he needed from Derek, to show he cared even if it was just something as simple as anger. It seemed that one of the things he could do well was infuriate the older man. He seemed to like the challenge though. He’d find ways to pin Stiles and fuck him and make him submit to him, to make him squirm and beg and plead. He would force answers out of him either by way of his tongue, teeth, anything really, as long as Stiles lost in the end. This relationship seemed to be based on a game where Stiles was always the loser, the one who felt this way. 

“Yes,” Stiles answered his voice softer then he wanted it to be, unwavering despite his state, as the werewolf began to approach him. He didn’t like this part either. He didn’t want to be near the other man, but he couldn’t say no. It seemed that his will was not his own nowadays. He was always trying to find a way to make it good again, but this man refused to oblige him. It was selfish, childish to think that he could keep a grown man, from doing what he wanted. Even being his mate hadn’t stopped Derek from doing what he desired. What he felt was in his or the packs best interest, the man got what he wanted. 

The soft steps caused him to look up from where he was on the floor. He let his eyes roam over the man and gave a slight intake of breath. The other man was attractive. Standing a little over six feet with a toned body. He could see each of his muscles ripple. His eyes were a beautiful color that seemed to change on his mood or who he looked at blue, green, and of course red, they all reflected his personality. . If he was less abrasive he would be perfect. He already had the looks of an Adonis, his attitude though . . . 

He let his eyes go back up and saw that Derek’s hair was messy as he knew it would be, since he was with Erica. Letting his eyes work their way back down he saw that there was a slight sheen of something and he knew it had to be cum, Derek’s, Erica’s, or a mixture of the two. It was covering his abs and gazing lower there was more stains there. His eyes rest on the man’s crotch he saw his dick nestled in a thatch of dark hair, about six inches when soft. There it was the worst, he could see the crusting of white that was slowly flaking and he knew that it was a mix of Erica’s heat, desire, and cum. He looked at it hard wishing the dry flakes would go away. 

Wasn’t Derek supposed to be Stiles’ in every way? That should mean that his dick was also his property and he didn’t want that inside Erica. He didn’t want it inside Isaac either and just the thought of that sent a possessive streak though his body. 

He let it subside though, again he couldn’t control the other man and he didn’t want to intrude on his space. Relationships required some time apart from each other and he understood that. The thing was, he never agreed to an open relationship and he hated that. Polygamy was not in his plans for life. Even then it wasn’t him doing the fucking here, it was Derek. Would it be called cheating? Weren’t they supposed to be in a mutual relationship here? It was only during heat though, but even then he shouldn’t do it no matter how good of a leader he wanted to be. 

As Derek got closer he tried not to breathe in through his nose, but failed the second Derek reached him. The smell assaulted his senses like he knew it would. It was musky the aroma of Derek’s own personal scent, strong masculine and a solid presence here. The thing was it was tangled with another. This one was weaker but feminine; it was the smell of Erica and sex. If he inhaled he could almost smell the sweat off the others body, his musk a lot more predominant then it usually was. If this was any other time the smell of the man would be arousing. He was sex on legs and his smell just reinforced that. Stiles didn’t know anyone else who could smell that good after being sweaty. 

He felt a little sardonic smile start to make its way on his face. What was wrong with him? This was his mate or boyfriend for lack of better terms and he was allowed to get aroused off of him. The thing was he didn’t find the act of listening to him fuck Erica over and over again, arousing at all. It was the opposite actually he felt quite disgusted and just wanted to leave here and never come back. He knew he couldn’t though because as much as Derek hurt him he’d be back. Derek was a center for him and a constant in this life. 

Derek’s hand touched his shoulder and he had to fight the urge to flinch. The older man didn’t shower and he didn’t want his hands on him. It was bad enough he smelled like Erica and the evidence of their coupling was all over his body like a battle scar. One could think of it as a battle though, not one he ever wanted to participate in, a battle to quell Erica’s needs that Boyd couldn’t seem to sate. 

He thought of the dark skinned man and wondered if he felt this way when Erica was being fucked by Derek. Did he feel worthless in that moment or did he join in turning it into a makeshift threesome. Derek wouldn’t let either of them near Stiles without ripping off their heads. They were expendable to a sense and he wasn’t or was he? Derek had said the needs of the pack came before his own and that is why he did what he did. That didn’t make it any better though. 

He looked at the man again and let his eyes trail over the cum for a second time. How much of that was Boyd’s. Did he fuck Erica after Derek was done? The answer was probably no. He knew that the alpha would knot her and that kind of left her in a situation where she was occupied. Then again it was one entrance and there were two on her three if you counted her mouth. Did they take turns fucking her as well? He knew she wasn’t a slut and she only slept with the two of them. One was supposed to be his though and she shouldn’t sleep with him if she knew how much it hurt. Erica, she’d always been a little selfish. So if she knew it hurt him, she didn’t care enough to stop. That was just who she was. She was always trying to get the upper hand on people now that she was a werewolf. He supposed that being the way she was before the bite she had an excuse. It wasn’t a good excuse though, a complete 180 from who she was before hand. She’d been respectable if a little forgettable. He supposed now even he wouldn’t forget her, then again he wouldn’t be able to regardless of how much her and Derek fucked. 

Again he wonder about Boyd, was he really okay with this? He knew that the other man had been here longer then he had. That this arrangement was set before him and Erica got together. Did he hurt like this? How could he be in the same room as her while she was getting fucked? Stiles was going insane just listening to them in the next room, how could he sit there in a room with them and not get mad and try and tear Derek apart for touching her. Didn’t he have a bit of a possessive streak in him that wanted to be her everything? Boyd was another beta though just like him, except he had more leeway then Stiles had. 

Stiles had to wonder what his role in the pack really was. How much leeway did he really have? Derek seemed to keep him on a short enough leash and now he didn’t really like him venturing out. Stiles was older now, he was twenty-one and already finished college. They had been doing this version of dating since he had been eighteen years old. Three years and he had to worry about this every other season if Erica or Isaac would come. 

Two to three times a year he had to sit here and listen while Derek satisfied one of the betas or were they omegas? He knew that the hierarchy was always a tad confusing. In a real pack of wolves there was an Alpha Betas and Omegas. It seemed that in a werewolf pack there was only Alphas and Betas with Omegas being the rogue. Derek had called him a beta before and he had to wonder what he was talking about. It took some through and he got it. The thing was he was still a human still refusing to transform into a werewolf like the rest of them. He didn’t think he’d look right all hairy and with fangs, the blue eyes, might be cool though or would his eyes be golden? He had never really figure out how they had varied eye color. 

Derek’s hand rubbed his shoulder and he made eye contact and held it for the first time since the older man had entered the room. He didn’t think he could hold back the tears, were there any tears left inside him at all? He felt like, as per usual, that he had used them all up. He knew that someone couldn’t cry forever since the body needed water to produce it. He was reminded of how dry and parched his throat was. As well as the food he couldn’t remember the last time he took a drink either. This situation was entirely way too fucked up for anybody to take.

That hand started moving up his shoulder squeezing every now and then and he fought the desire to lean into it. He was trying wasn’t he? No, trying would have been the first or second time this was him trying to get his way. 

“Are. . . ?” Stiles began, letting the question train off. He really didn’t know which question to ask here. Are they gone? Are you going to pay attention to me? Are you still in love with me? Are you aware how much this fucking sucks? Those were just a few of the ones that were playing over and over in his head and he couldn’t seem to reign in those whirling thoughts to pick one of them to ask. 

Derek ran his fingertips up the side of Stiles’ neck then stroked his cheek in an affectionate gesturer, before tilting his head to the side as if he was listening for something. Brows furrowed in a version of concentration before they smoothed out and he gave a slight nod. Stiles understood the question that was answered for him without ever having a say in the matter. He knew it was the question that suited this situation more than anything else. _‘Are they gone?’_

Letting the older man’s nod offer him some comfort he felt a little better. He still wasn’t sure if they were really gone though. He knew that his ears wouldn’t be able to pick up anything like the werewolf’s could. It was one of the downsides of being human around a bunch of the preternatural. 

Straining his own ears stiles tried to see if he could pick up anything in the large house. A sound, any sound, to let him know that they were actually the only ones left here. He knew that Derek wouldn’t see them out, his part of being the leader being more then fulfilled. It still didn’t stop that instinct in his gut from trying to let me know if anything was in the wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time that Erica had stayed here for something after one of these stints. The only sound he could hear was the soft sound of steps being creaking and then the slam of the front door. 

He let out a little sigh a second later as a large palm cupped his cheek. He didn’t know what he was sighing for the fact that Derek was finally paying attention to him, or the fact that Erica and Boyd were gone. The relief was coursing through his body and he could feel some tension drain from him, granted he was still pretty stiff from sitting here. 

A thumb stroked over his lips in a soft caress. At one time he would be sticking his tongue out to taste the other man, to taste the sweat off his skin. He would have drawn that thumb into his mouth biting it and giving Derek his best innocent grin while he laved it in his mouth. Those times were few and far between now, something always came up or they were interrupted by something. This seemed to be his life now. 

“Get in the bed,” Derek said, his voice commanding, yet it held the barest touch of gentleness. The older man slid his hand from Stiles’ face to under his armpit and pulled him to his feet effortlessly, so they were standing eye to eye. 

Looking into the man’s eyes Stiles gave the barest smile as the other pushed him slightly back towards the bed. He bumped against the edge and fell backwards onto the mattress. Derek gave a little laugh as he patted Stiles’ leg a moment before heading out. 

“I’m going to take a shower,” he called in that damn distant voice, as he left the room. Derek’s back was slightly red and he had to wonder what that was about. There were red lines across his back and larger patches of skin that looked irritated. It only seemed to cover his lower back and shoulder blades. The tattoo seemed to be unaffected by what ever happened to his skin. 

Stiles stayed there sprawled on the bed staring up at the ceiling for a moment wondering how the man’s personality could change back and forth so fast. He didn’t think the wolf inside of him could be controlling him that drastically. He began to wonder if everything was just pulling him apart and that is why he wanted Stiles here, the constant presence of something steady. It would make sense with what he said earlier. The thing was. . . 

Stiles got up from the bed and walked out into the hallway. Walking towards the bathroom he went to it and pressed his head against the door as quietly as he could. A second later he heard the shower turn on and let out a small sigh. Turning away he went to the room that was next to the bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and he didn’t have to do anything but press against it a little bit and the door swung open noiselessly. 

If anyone were to see him now they would think him a masochist. Just hearing them go at it in the next room had him crying his eyes and heart out in silent sobs. Now he was venturing into the room where it all took place. It was stupid, god he was so stupid, but he had to see with his own eyes what made them so different. Why couldn’t he give Derek what he wanted? Why wasn’t he good enough? He steeled his resolve and entered the room. 

The first thing he noticed as he walked into the room was the smell; god the smell was so strong. He shook his head as if that could stop it from assaulting his nose. It was enough to make his eyes water and he blinked back tears he didn’t know he still had. It was the scent he smelled on Derek not that long ago, only this time, it was about ten times more potent. God this room reeked of sex, cum and, he stopped trying to block the scents out and took a brief whiff of it. He didn’t like the fact that he smelled his boyfriend’s scent mixed with another but something was irking him to know what this was. 

A second passed as he breathed in and out slowly letting him understand what it was that smelled so muted, but so strong at the same time? It smelt like copper and he had to step back a little bit as he realized it was the smell of blood. Not enough to let it be known that it was lingering there, but blood was never a dull scent and someone wouldn’t notice it if they weren’t looking for it, he wasn’t looking for the smell of it but he’d been around so much of it that it was embedded into his memory. Why was the smell of blood here? Did someone get hurt? Was the sex so rough that he made her bleed? 

Walking further into the room he looked around and saw everything in disarray. The walls bore claw marks that were several inches deep. Claw marks also were decorating the carpet, fabric torn off in some places leaving frayed ends. The table that was usually in this room was broken scattered around. The lamp usually in here was shattered, shards of porcelain in a corner near the bed. 

He let his eyes roam over the bed and took in its disheveled state. The major thing he saw that was out of place was that there was a blanked haphazardly draped over it. It was the only object in the room that was somewhat clean and that didn’t sit well with him. Walking towards it he grabbed the white sheet and pulled, dropping it immediately after, taking a few steps back aghast at what he saw. 

The once pristine white sheets were coated in red. There were bits and pieces of skin torn off. Some of the strips from what he could see where pale and reminded him of Erica. There was some dark brown skin there, as well as a tanned skin color. Blood coated most of it and he was surprised he could even see enough to tell the difference. The only thing that was going through his mind was what the fuck happened? 

He examined the bed a bit closer and scrunched his nose as the full force of blood hit him. There was several different smells to it. Some of it was new while some of it smelled fresh. There was also the scent of cum and sweat lingering here. He knew that was to be expected with what happened in this room for the past few days. 

Taking a step back Stiles tossed the sheet back onto the bed. Backing up and looking at the bed in as if it was a two head dragon. This wasn’t what he expected to find. Now that he thought about it he didn’t know what he wanted to find. This was so much worse than anything he could have thought of thought there was blood and chucks of skin and maybe a little bit of meat on the bed. That was absolutely disgusting and horrifying to see. 

Getting out the room he walked down the hall. As he was walking past the bathroom he heard shower turn off and Stiles began to hastily make his way back to their bedroom. He knew he had nothing to hide from Derek but he didn’t think the older man would appreciate him going into that room. Usually he would sneak out during the night to go and clean it so that he didn’t know what happened in there. This was the first time he ever went in there by himself in the aftermath of a night between the alpha and one of the omegas. 

Climbing into bed under the covers Stiles looked towards the wall and tried to slow down his breathing hoping that the other didn’t realize that he didn’t crawl into bed when he left. Derek would be mad at him, but he wouldn’t be too mad. He knew that Stiles was curious by nature and although the man found it annoying at times, it also was one of the traits that came in handy more than anyone could say. So Stiles going into that room was to be expected at least once. Derek’s reaction though wasn’t something he planned on. How did you plan for someone like Derek? Even after a few years of knowing the man, he still had no idea what would happen with the man half the time. 

The bed dipped and he felt the covers shift. A second a second later cold air hit his back before a warm body was pressing against him, the heat warming him up instantly. Derek’s hand slide down Stiles’ side stroking his hip before he wrapped his entire arm around Stiles’ waist. Leaning back into the other mans hold Stiles felt his arm come to rest underneath his head, Derek’s bicep acting as a pillow as he laid back down against the firm muscle. The older man moved forward nuzzling his neck, stubble grazing over his skin, before he settled on Stile’s shoulder. Hot air passes over his ear as the other man breathed in and out. He could feel his heart speeding up from the proximity. 

“Go to sleep Stiles,” was murmured against his skin. He felt the arm around his waist tighten, but not uncomfortably. It was like he was a lifeline for Derek. A leg slid between his as he closed his eyes. He felt the werewolf inch closer, as if he was trying to make them one. Stiles felt his heart slowing down as he felt Derek’s own heart beat strongly against his back. It was soothing like a lullaby. 

Stiles opened his eyes and stared at the blackness of the room. He didn’t think he was asleep for that long the room was still cloaked in darkness and the clock said only ten minutes had passed since he glanced at it before climbing into bed. 

Looking down Stiles saw Derek’s arm had gone lax, no longer holding him in that viselike grip. He moved his hand down and let his fingers glide over the corded muscle under tanned skin before moving the entire arm so it wasn’t over his waist anymore. He tossed a quick look to the older man and saw that he didn’t move an inch, as barely audible snores escaped his lips. Stiles slid to the edge of the bed, the leg between his easily slipping free. Turning to get up stiles was jerked back as Derek gripped his forearm. 

“Where are you going?” Derek asked, his voice laced with exhaustion. 

“Bathroom,” Stiles replied, running his hands over Derek’s arm for second. The older man let his arm go and rolled over he could make out the head nodding, but he couldn’t discern what the man had said. 

Shaking his head, Stiles got out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. He just needed to get away from things even for just a little while. He had doubt in his mind that he loved Derek. It was just times like this he doubted the other man loved him. 

Walking to the bathroom he stepped inside and flipped the switch and let out shaky laugh. A bathroom was another place with walls, here they were porcelain and tended to muffle sound a little bit better then the walls in Derek’s room. It was here that he often found sanctuary when he needed to get away from the other man and needed time to think. A long hot shower and the peace and quiet of this room helped immensely. 

He walked into the room and took in a deep breath smelling the hint of water that still perforated the air. Looking to his left he saw black a towel on the rack that was still a little damp. He had to smile as he remembered that even in the bathroom the main maintained his love of the monochromatic colors. He walked over to the towel and ran a hand over the soft cotton feeling the wetness. 

A bit of color caught his eye and he looked towards it. Bright and distinctively feminine he felt a chill go up his spine. He turned to look at it completely and saw it was a pink towel that could only be one person’s. 

Erica had been here in this bathroom. She could have easily used the one downstairs or the one down the hall. Erica was not supposed to be in here! This was Stiles’ place. He needed somewhere that the two omegas wouldn’t come in this house. There were only two places that the omegas didn’t usually go into. This bathroom, since Derek and himself used it alone and their bedroom which he knew that Derek wouldn’t allow them to enter at all. He felt livid at the thought that she was in here and cleaning herself after what she had just done with Derek. It hurt, a lot. 

Sanctuary. This was his sanctuary here. Neither of them should be here. Why had they even come in here in the first place? Derek must have told them to come in here and clean off. He wasn’t supposed to do that though, he was territorial and as much as he hated to admit it Stiles was as well. It was one of the mutual things they had in common, Stiles was less willing to openly show it. 

Moving to the towel Stiles lifted it and had the urge to throw it out the window, throw it in the trash, burn it, anything to erase the fact that this towel was here in what was supposed to be deemed personal. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This shouldn’t have happened and he felt his rage come to a boiling point. He was mad at Derek, Erica, even Boyd, for allow her to come in here and shower. He understood that she needed to get clean, but she shouldn’t have done it here. He didn’t care if she went to the kitchen with a cloth and used the sink, as long as she stayed out of here. 

Throwing that fucking pink towel out into the hall way he took a few deep breaths. It wouldn’t do for him to get angry it was done it had happened and no matter how much he fussed about it he couldn’t go back in time and keep her out. He knew that time didn’t go back for any man and that was what made hindsight such a bitch. Listening to your love fuck people while being in the next room, was probably even worse than hindsight though. 

Looking into the mirror of the bathroom he took in his appearance and had to sigh. He knew that his eyes would be red and the tears would still be dry. The thing was he had dark shadows under his eyes. He blamed that on the lack of sleep. Every time he would nod off for a second he would hear Erica cry out in pleasure. 

He grit his teeth and grabbed on to the sink dipping his head low. A thought crossed his mind as he ran over signs in head. Was he in an abusive relationship? They fought yeah, but it was never out of anger as it once was. Now their fighting was playful unless Derek wanted something and usually Stiles was more than willing to give it up, although he couldn’t make things easy for Derek, so under the pretense that he wouldn’t submit, it was always a game. It also led to really great sex. 

Stiles knew that an abusive relationship wasn’t only physical it could also be mental. Derek as rough as never said things really put him down, he usually was giving him endearments, commenting on how smart he was and how much he was loved by him. How underappreciated he was. Hell it was the opposite of an abusive relationship wasn’t it? 

He had to resist the urge to laugh. God, what was his life coming to when he had to convince himself that he wasn’t in an abusive relationship. 

The thing was this arrangement between Derek and the omegas made him always feel he wasn’t good enough. Derek using them to either sate a longing desire or do something that Stiles couldn’t do. The thing was Stiles was willing to do anything to keep Derek and keep him as his and his alone. Well almost anything, he did have some limits, but those were few and far between. 

He let go of the death grip on the sink and looked at himself in the mirror again. Sometimes he wondered what did Derek really see when he looked at him. Stile’s didn’t see what attracted the other man to him and made him such a wonderful mate. Was it his understanding ways? The fact that he was always self-sacrificing? So many different ways that they could go on but he didn’t know any of them. 

Wincing as the pain from his griping on the sink sunk in he shook his hands and went to the shower. He paused at the knob remembering that Erica and probably Boyd had been here in this shower and he had to control the urge to turn around and just go back to bed. 

Sighing he turned on the showering turning it to the hot side. He moved back to the toilet and let everything rush through him again. Heat. That is what this all comes down to is heat. He didn’t mind the heat so much as it was something animals and apparently werewolves went though. It was the fact that it tended to consume his boyfriend’s time and turn Stiles into a shell of who he usually was. That is what he didn’t like. 

Seeing the steam rise over the top of the curtains Stiles quickly stripped and climbed into the shower. This was one of the main reasons why he considered this his sanctuary. A shower might not seem like a great deal and to most people it wouldn’t be much but he learnt that under the spray of water none of the werewolves could hear him cry. The pelting sounding too loud and as long as he didn’t scream out he was usually fine. It was usually here that he sought solace after the deed of Derek fucking one of his omegas was done. 

He let out a breath and looked up at the ceiling and felt tears start to pour from his eyes. Why was this happening to him? He didn’t think he had done anything to deserve such a punishment. He knew that it really wasn’t his fault as much as Derek’s need to be the good guy. Derek was the one who needed to redeem and prove himself capable, although he had done that a while ago. The fact that he still needed to go ahead and help Erica and Isaac in any way he could proved that he had a heart of gold. Or was it a heart of ice? The line was always blurred when someone hurt another person directly or indirectly. 

He felt hotter and he thought of heat again. In animals, heat was representing a time of breeding and an increase for need for sex. It was a period in which they were not in control of thoughts and needed to be in someone or someone inside of them. It was something he couldn’t experience himself since he never became a werewolf. That still begat the question of if he’d take on the role of a beta if he did indeed decide to go through with it or would he be an omega. 

Stiles laughed a little as he thought of the fact that he would have to do something against his own beliefs just to keep Derek and that hurt. It was not supposed to be this way. They were supposed to be with each other through thick and thin and neither was supposed to sacrifice anything. Then again he seemed to be sacrificing his sanity and his image every single time one of them came. 

More tears came and he thought of why he wasn’t good enough. He was probably breakable to Derek and the fact is with Isaac or Erica he could unleash everything. Every little bit of the wolf he knew that Derek possessed. He didn’t have to be gentle and from the bits of skin and blood he didn’t think that it was a simple fuck. He knew that Derek held back every time he was with him. How he’d treat him like he was precious even when Stiles wanted him to do it harder. How he’d kiss him slow and softly. It was always good, but he knew the way the man breathes at times he wanted it rougher then Stiles was capable of receiving. Sure he wasn’t as fit as Erica or Isaac or even Allison who had been trained as a hunter. That didn’t mean he couldn’t handle a little pain. Fuck he took Derek’s knot every single time. Why did he think that Stiles was weak? 

Knotting. Once when he was younger he had read a book that said knotting was only done between mates. The one act severing to solidify a claiming of a mate. He’d been foolish to think it was something like that. Derek told him that it didn’t work that way and could happen anytime during sex, especially with a omega. It was to make sure they were able to feel every single thing their alpha did to them and to let their heat resettle before it came back full force. 

Good enough. He never seemed to be good enough for anything. His life was a giant letdown. He still lied to his father and feigned ignorance when something went down. He still is not as smart as Lydia. He still loses focus on things from time to time with his ADHD. He just can’t seem to be good at anything he does. He thought he could be a good mate to Derek and even that didn’t seem to work out well. He had to seek out an omega just to find true pleasure. 

He let out a broken chuckle and though of heat again. Was it triggered by the fact that Stiles wasn’t sufficient enough to truly give Derek what he needed? It would explain why it was so frequent and how Derek seemed, a little bit happier than usual when one of them came. It was a small upturn of the lips and the way he breathed. The way he led them out of the room hastily even when he was in the middle of something. How he placed them before Stiles. It was moments like that where he had to wonder if Derek fed him a lot of bullshit. 

He put one of his hands on the wall and water was running down his face. He wasn’t sure if he was still crying or not the water stung his eyes, but he knew that he was heaving he still was crying. Stiles lifted up a hand to wipe his eyes and only seemed to make them burn more and he started whimpering. Fuck this hurt, his eyes were already hurting from the crying and now it was burning from the water. 

What could he really offer Derek? 

Isaac was more dependent on Derek than he’d ever admit. That caused them to rarely ever bicker since he usually saw what the older man meant. He was nice and better looking than what Stiles thought of himself. Isaac was compassionate and resilient when the need arises. He’d probably make a better mate then Stiles knew he could ever be. Hell he bet that Isaac was always tight after a round of sex with Derek. Werewolf healing had to come in handy for something right? That Derek wounds inflict in the throes of passion would probably heal up like nothing allowing Derek to do it again and again. 

He slammed a fist into the wall as the tears ran down faster. He should be used to these self conscious thoughts by now. The thing was it didn’t make it hurt any less. God, every single time this happened he had to come in here and fucking vent. He should be happy with his life now and he should be making Derek Happy. Not Erica or Isaac!

Erica. That name made him clench his jaw and let out a choked sob. Eric could do things for Derek that he would never be able to do. Things such as have kids. 

What if that is why Derek liked Erica so much? The fact that they could have babies and that would help Derek to start a family that he always wanted. What about Boyd though would he be happy with her carrying their alpha’s child? Knowing Boyd he wouldn’t mind so much he’d see it as helping that pack. Stiles knew that Boyd should be jealous, although one could see it as a surrogacy. Although with a surrogate you didn’t keep constantly fucking them. 

_“Harder, please harder!”_ he can hear Erica cry and he lets out a broken sob.

“Shut up,” he says to the imaginary voices in his head. The ones filled with lust of a panting Erica and a grunting Derek. “Shut, up please! Shut up.” He tries not to let his voice rise as he keeps hearing the sounds blend in with each other, sounds of a rough fucking that he wouldn’t be able to ever receive, sounds of things that would never come to pass for him. 

“Shut up!” he screams again with a choked off sob as he slams a fist into the wall again, this time the pain barely registers as he is lost in his own world of pain and misery. It hurt, god it hurt so much to remember the fact that not long ago Erica was here. The sounds were still in the walls and the air. He wasn’t supposed to hear them in his sanctuary. It should be him and the water! Not sounds that were enough to break his heart. 

Stiles slid down to his knees as his body shook with sobs. Erica and Derek would have beautiful kids, if he thought about it. They would make a good pair if it wasn’t for Stiles being in the way. Shuddering Stiles let out every emotion he could in the shower. 

Cold. 

Since when did everything turn cold? 

Ice cold water pelted Stiles’ skin feeling like tiny needles every time a drop hit him. He tilted his head back a little and let the coldness attack his neck. He rolled his head to the side and stared blankly at the wall in front of him. The realization that he had been here so long the water turned cold didn’t seem to hit him as hard as it should have. The only thing that he seemed to realize was that he was numb. Everything was numb, his feelings, body, heart and he appreciated it. He didn’t want to deal with anything in the one place in this house he could call a sanctuary. The only thing allowed here were him and the water that was hitting his skin. 

The shower curtain was flung open and he slowly turned his head to look at what had disturbed his solitude and numbness. Derek’s face was looking at him in panic before it smoothed over to one of relief. The werewolf looked at his mate once before he reached into the shower and turned off the water. When that was done he reached down into the tub and pulled Stiles into his arms. Moving out of the showers he set the younger man on the toilet watching as he shivered. Derek made a small noise in the back of his throat that sounded like a whine before he went to the towel rack and grabbed a fluffy blue towel. Moving back to the young man he began to towel him dry watching every shiver that went through Stiles body. 

“You didn’t come back to bed,” Derek muttered, as he wiped Stile’s legs. “I was worried.” He shot a pointed looked into Stiles’ eyes before going back down to his task slowly doing everything he could to dry his mate. Stiles could hear the underlining statement that went along with what Derek was saying though. _“I was afraid you left.”_

When he was finished his task Derek threw the towel somewhere on the floor before picking Stiles up in his arms again and making his way back to his, their bedroom. This was the Derek Stiles loved, the one who showed tenderness and caring. The one who would give him the world if he only asked. When Derek got in front of the bed he placed the other man down gently brushing a soft kiss against his lips pulling back. 

Stiles let his hand reach up and grab Derek’s neck and pulled him back down into another kiss. This one was deeper then the first one and used some tongue. Stiles pulled harder and Derek yielded to the pull crawling into the bed on top of Stiles not breaking the kiss. Sitting up Stiles wrapped his other arm around Derek’s neck and tried to convey all the passion he felt for his boyfriend in that single kiss. He could feel his eyes watering as he thought of this not being enough to express how much he loved the man in front of him. 

Derek’s own hand reached behind Stiles and cupped his head. Pulling Stiles closer to him Derek moved his head to Stile’s shoulder where he bit softly into the flesh. Stile took in a deep breath as Derek licked a stripe from where he bit Stiles to his neck nipping at Stiles’ Adam’s apple. Moving from there the man went and nuzzled under Stile’s chin taking in his scent. He didn’t like the fact that Stiles’ scent wasn’t as strong as it usually was, but it was better that he didn’t use soap. His mate in the shower like that though had his heart clenching. He moved a hand over Stiles’ heart feeling it beat faster as he kept nuzzling him. 

“Derek,” Stiles whispered as he grabbed the back of Derek’s head. “Please.” He tried to pull that head back up so that he could kiss the werewolf’s lips again. This is what he needed right now. He needed to be with the other man, to prove that the werewolf was his and that he wouldn’t resist him. To at least make some claim on the other man even though-

Stiles was pushed back against the sheets and the man loomed over him. Eyes flashing red for a moment before Derek claimed Stiles lips in a possessive kiss, biting on the upper lip before letting it go. Moving down the pale chest Derek kissed and licked his way down, his right hand stroking parts of the body he just kissed and he took a nipple into his mouth before and biting it softly before continuing his trek down Stiles’ body. 

When Derek reached Stiles’ crotch he took the erection in his hand a stroking it a few times. Looking up into Stiles’ eyes he went stroked across the slit with his thumb, watching every move the young man made. Stiles’ breath came in soft pants as he bucked up to try and get Derek to do more than just stroke the tip. He reached down to try and grab his own dick but Derek swatted his hand away with disapproving sound.

“What do you want?” Derek asked as he spread Stiles legs a bit and moved to occupy that space he just made. 

Stiles had to close his eyes as he thought of the loaded question. There were so many things he could ask him in this moment, all but the one thing that truly mattered. He knew that if he asked that now they’d get into an argument and he didn’t feel like debating. At the moment he only wanted one thing. The thing was-

“You,” Stiles answered as he moved his hand to try and grab Derek’s black hair. If there was one thing he could have in this moment it would be his mate, maybe it was the need for his own brand of reassurance. The fact that as fucked up as this was Derek was still his. At least that is what he had to keep telling himself. 

“Oh?” The older man quirked his lips as he moved his head down to Stiles’ dick and stroked it once. Derek licked his lips as he looked down at Stiles cock in his hands. Derek turned attention to Stiles. “What do you want?” 

A chance, all he needed was a chance to prove to Derek that he didn’t need Isaac or Erica or whoever else might come along. He just needed Stiles and he’d do anything to keep Derek to himself. It was a desperation that he’d been trying so hard to fulfill. He kept trying so hard after one of them left. He tried to remind Derek that he didn’t need to go to one of them if he’d let Stiles be his everything. He’d let him use him like a ragdoll and fuck him as hard as he wanted to. He’d let him rend the flesh from his body if the need called for it. Sure, he wouldn’t heal as fast as one of the werewolves, but he’d do it. He’d take anything that Derek would give him as long as he stopped this fucked up cycle. Three years he’d been trying and every single time one of them came around he felt like he’d failed. 

“Please, “Stiles let out in a breathy whisper. He didn’t even know what he was pleading for at the moment. Was he pleading for Derek to stop fucking one of them or for Derek to do something with him. 

“Touch me, “Stiles said as he tried to buck his hips up. A hand on his stomach held him down and Derek squeezed his cock in a loose grip. It wasn’t enough to give him any friction and felt more like a feathers caress. He tried to move sideways and was held still by the large palm still on his stomach. 

“I am touching you.” Stiles knew Derek was being purposely obtuse to try and get him to say exactly what he wanted. 

“Fuck!” He tried to buck his hips up again but Derek’s hold was unwavering. “Suck me please,” He begged. The hand on his stomach relaxed and he was able to move his lower body a little bit. He saw Derek give him an infuriating grin as the man’s grip tightened on his now fully erect dick. 

“Was that so hard?” Derek asked as he moved his mouth lower to blow hot air over the head of Stiles’ cock. He licked the slit as he kept eyes focused on Stiles face. 

Stiles reached down and grabbed a fistful of black hair. His eyes were half lidded as pushed down Derek to try and get the man on his dick as fast as he could. He felt the head lower his dick was encased in warmth. He threw his head back with a low hiss. This is what he needed, Derek here doing this kind of stuff with him alone. 

Derek slowly sank down on his dick deep throating him easily. Stiles looked down at Derek through half lidded eyes and he fought back a sob, letting it come out as a chocked moan. 

Once he would enjoy this so much. Before he knew what Derek had been doing with Isaac. He had wondered where the natural talent came from until Isaac showed up one day and he was taken into that damn room. He wondered how often Derek did this to Isaac to cull his heat. How often he took him deep in his throat and let him cum in his mouth. Did he eat Erica out also? Did he enjoy tasting her juices while she was in heat before he fucked her? 

Stiles shut his eyes and grabbed the sheets trying to keep the well of hurt from affecting him so much. This was supposed to be his time with Derek and he didn’t want to mess with that by thinking of something so hurtful. It was hard not to think about it when he was so good at what he did and he had to wonder if there was more than Isaac he did this to. 

No, he wouldn’t go there. He wanted to enjoy this moment as long as it lasted. He tightened his grip Derek’s hair and pulled him back up before thrusting his hips up and shoving his cock back into that mouth. The only thing Derek did was take it like an expert cocksucker, giving a hum of approval as he was once again taking Stiles’ dick down his throat. 

After a few second of this Derek gripped his hip and held him down again. Slowly he lifted his head sliding Stiles dick out of his mouth and giving him a grin as he gripped the base with his free hand and licked from the root to the tip. He went back down setting his own pace as he slowly let his tongue dance around the flesh not missing a single inch. When he was done with this he moved back to the tip sucking the head and sticking his tongue in the slit. Derek let out a pleased sound as he felt a little bit of Sties’ pre-cum hit his tongue. He growled for a second before taking it back into his mouth and bobbing down. When Derek got to the base he took hand from around his dick and used that hand to knead Stiles’ balls. He rolled them squeezing them softly every now and then before pulling them gently. 

“Fuck, Derek” Stiles groaned as he was forced to stay still and take what Derek gave him. The hand in Derek’s hair didn’t offer much in the way of letting him guide the moments so much as give him something to hold on to. 

Derek set his own pace slowly working down mouth open throat relaxed as he took Stiles as deep as he could. Derek moved his hand up Stiles’ chest, dragging his nails slowly as he kept up his slow pace. Derek let the cock slip from his mouth as he allowed his tongue to lick the under the shaft. He brought the hand that was toying with Stiles’ balls to the base of Stile’s dick. He held it in a pleasantly tight grip and followed the directions of his head. His hands were becoming coated with his own saliva and it was helping to make the stroking all the smoother.

Derek pulled off the dick in his tongue giving it a slight lick across the head. Stiles watched as Derek pulled back. Gripping Stiles’ legs he pressed them back stretching them before moving them forward to his chest so that Stile’s ass was slightly lifted and on display for Derek. Spreading Stiles’ legs further he looked down at the younger man. 

“Hold them there,” Derek growled. Stiles rushed to comply holding his legs spread out in that position. He could feel a slight ache at holding himself like this and knew that soon he’d be sore and he’d have to let his legs close.

Derek let go of Stiles’ legs and went back to Stile’s dick. He licked down Stile’s cock to his nuts, taking one each one in his mouth before blowing hot air over each of them and then continuing his trek. Slowly he worked down Stiles’ perineum moving until he was at his ass. Derek moved his hands spreading the cheeks so that he could see the hole. 

Moving forward the werewolf inhaled before moving closer to look at the pink hole. Derek stuck his tongue out and ran it along the outer edges of the pink hole. Moving his hands down he ran a finger alongside his tongue slowly working it in spreading it with his fingers allowing his tongue to slide in easier. 

Derek had a talented tongue and Stiles began to wonder how often he had to use it on Isaac or Erica. Did he do it the same way legs pushed towards their chest and him sticking his tongue up their ass or in the case of Erica in her pussy? Were they already slick? Did he turn them over onto their front and lift them up while he went to work on them getting them nice and slick? How often did he have to do that? 

“C’mon Derek, fuck me,” Stiles begged, as he tried to keep his legs spread out. He didn’t know how much longer he could stay like spread out like this. “You don’t-” Stiles stifled a moan, “have to do that, just fuck me already.” 

“I won’t hurt you,” Derek said, voice firm as he continued to stretch him with his fingers. Slowly he twisted them sliding them deeper as every second passed. 

You already do. Stiles thought as he let the fingers stretch him wider. Stiles felt his ass clench at the invasion it was harder than a tongue and it still wasn’t the most pleasant thing in the world. If he were being honest he would have preferred Derek to just fuck him then stretch him. 

He did enjoy this feel and knowing that Derek wouldn’t hurt him was some comfort, yet it wasn’t what Derek wanted. He wanted to unleash his inner wolf and do what he could to stake a deeper claim, permanent marks that Derek knew Stiles would never be able to heal from. The thought of that didn’t really scare him as much as it should. It would prove that he was Derek’s. The thing was he wasn’t able to do the same for the wolf. If he were to ask Derek to brand himself with a tattoo like the one he knew was on the others back, he felt that the man would scoff and brush it off. Derek was his, yet not his at the same time. He belonged to the pack and by default he belonged to Erica and Isaac as well. 

When he felt that Stiles was stretched enough Derek moved rubbing his dick up and down over the entrance of his ass. Holding onto Stiles’ hip with one hand and used the other to line himself up with Stiles’ hole. Slowly he moved forward nudging the head inside. Moving his hand he pulled one of Stiles’ legs from his grip and wrapped it around his own waist. Derek pulled Stiles closer sinking in as he watched him with eyes tinted with a bit of red. 

Stiles gritted his teeth as the initial pain of being penetrated. The stretch was familiar but every time Derek began to fuck him it was always the same. The sensation of his hole being opened up so that it would accommodate the bigger man. He knew the pain would pass soon and Derek would give him that look that he always did. 

“Stiles,” Derek’s voice was controlled, holding back something. His big hand ran up Stiles’ chest and it brought his focus back to the werewolf. The man’s fingers splayed over his heart feeling the muscle beat in his chest. He knew that Derek could hear it but sometimes he felt the need to feel it. 

If Stiles were being honest he would admit this was one of his favorite positions. It was crushing to know he probably wasn’t the only one who was fucked this way though. How many people had he fucked in this position? He wasn’t naive enough to think Derek hadn’t fucked people this same way. To give them the pleasure of looking at him as he fucked them senseless. Did he fuck Isaac like this? How many times had he fucked Erica like this during her last heat? 

A sharp thrust and Stiles was brought back to the man who was connected to him. Derek’s hand moved from his chest to grip Stiles’ other hip. Pulling out the man thrust back in gently, trying to make sure that Stiles wasn’t taking more than he needed to be. When Derek saw his mates face go from pained to one of pleasure he went ahead and slowly started to rock his hips. 

Not knowing where to put his hands Stiles began to try and lift himself up but a hand on his chest had him lying back down. Derek set a slow pace pulling out before pushing in. Every few seconds he would change the pace moving faster than slowing down. He would take his dick completely out of Stile’s ass till only the tip remained in before slamming in with contained strength. Eyes were red as he thrust into Stiles pushing and pulling, yet always being careful as if Stiles was something fragile. Stiles let out soft moans of enjoyment as he felt the cock fill him and slowly leave making him feel empty. Stiles again tried to get up and this time Derek complied. 

Pulling Stiles to his chest he let those legs rewrap around his waist, Derek’s dick never leaving his ass, the older man thrust up into him letting gravity and his own grip guide the younger man down. He fucked him hard here. Stiles could set a pace faster and drop down harder and he took every opportunity to do that. The thing is he wanted the other man to really give it to him. To shove his dick hard enough in him to make him see stars. 

“Derek,” Stiles panted breathless, pleasure coursing through his body as Derek filled him. “You can do it harder.” 

_Use me._ Stiles thought as he tried to get Derek to fuck him harder. He tried to move down more to take as much of that dick as he could. He just had to be good and take what was given to him. His job at the moment was to please the other in any way he could. He wrapped arms around Derek’s torso feeling his broad shoulders as he rocked with the motion of Derek fucking him. Loud sound of flesh meeting filled the room.

Putting his head on Derek’s shoulder he inhaled the scent of the man. This time there wasn’t the underlying scent of Erica. This time it was all Derek, his scent mixing along with the smell of the werewolf’s. He ran his nails up and down that back tracing the tattoo which he memorized a while again, before he began to dig into that back with his nails avoiding where he knew the triskelion was. 

He recognized as he was scratching at Derek’s back the irritated skin he saw earlier wasn’t just irritated skin. He was surprised he didn’t catch on sooner. It was newly healed skin, the bits and pieces he saw in that room made more sense and he rode Derek harder. Had he clawed into her skin as well? Is that what he wanted Stiles to do? 

Wrapping his arms tighter around Derek he allowed himself to dig in deeper. He knew that he was causing lines to appear on the others mans back. Unlike him though the werewolf would heal and no one would ever know that they were there. 

Stiles bit into Derek’s should as hard as he could, the tasting the copper of blood on his tongue. He felt Derek fuck into him harder at that little bit of pain. He bit again and felt Derek again thrust harder. He could feel the tiny little pricks of Derek’s nails, longer and sharper than normal for a second before they were gone and replaced again by blunt fingernails, another suppressed feeling that he longed to quell, something that Derek didn’t dare do with him. 

“Fuck Stiles,” Derek growled as he thrust up into him harder, trying to push in as deep as he could. Stiles felt a shudder go through Derek’s body as the knot began to swell in his ass and cum began to flow. The pain was pleasurable as a hand gripped at his dick tugging it roughly as he was jerked off. 

Stiles’ vision went white for a second as he felt the orgasm race through his body. He could feel himself shooting over Derek’s hand as his breathing came out in short pants. All he could feel was that dick in him as he tried to breathe. His hands dug into Derek’s back as he breathed harshly against the werewolf’s neck. He dug his nail in deeper into skin as let the last waves course through him. As his breathing came back under control he tilted his head into Derek’s neck. He inhaled the others scent, taking in that smell of sex that they had created. He was okay with this. His smell and Derek’s alone was fine it was when it was one of-

Derek nipped at Stiles’ throat for a second blowing hot air over the sweaty skin. He licked at the teeth marks he made when he reached his own climax and pulled away. Pulling back he kept an arm around his mate’s waist. When he was far enough back he moved his cum covered hand from between them and brought it up to his lips. Letting his tongue slide out he began to lap up the cum. It was salty and a little watery, but Derek didn’t think anything could taste that good. As he was licking he saw Stiles watching him attentively. He grinned at the younger man before bringing that same hand to the other jaw. Moving his head he brought their lips together in a deep kiss. Derek slid his tongue into Stiles open mouth swallowing the sounds he made as their tongues danced. 

Stiles pulled back from the kiss still tasting himself on Derek’s lips and he rested his forehead against Derek’s. The man gave him a smile and he pressed their lips together again in a slow languid kiss. These moments are what he craved and longed for a feeling that he felt like he had fulfilled his purpose of being a good mate. He felt like someone who could please their mate and stop the omegas from coming. 

“You’re mine,” Derek whispered between kisses. Stiles felt his heart swell as usual when the man said that. He quashed the feeling though. He knew that his mate would always say that after their coupling and as much as he wanted to say that he wasn’t-

“I know.” A half smile appeared on Stiles’ face. “I’ll always be yours.” He lets his fingers run along the scratches he made earlier. Stiles know that they were closing up. The teeth marks on Derek’s neck were already fading as the skin knitted its self back together. The knot in his ass slowly deflating as seconds passed. 

_But will you ever be truly mine?_ Stiles knew that the urge to cry was strong, but he wouldn’t do that in front of Derek. Right now he just wanted to lie in his arms and forget everything existed outside of this room. No Erica or Isaac, no pack to interfere, just them lying in bed.

Derek positioned them in bed. He pulled Stiles so that he was lying on his chest. He ran hands up and down Stiles arms and over his body. The werewolf settled on his back rubbing circles along Stiles’ shoulder blades. The soothing rubs as well as the sound of Derek’s heart made him sleepy but he had to wonder. 

Did he lay down with them like this? Offering protection and warming them up with his body temperature. Did they feel safe in his arms after they were done? Did he kiss them all over their body as he was doing to Stiles now uttering words of endearment? Was he whispering things like mate and love and talking dirty to them? Was he telling them how much he’d fuck them and cum in them? 

Despair came to the surface as he was falling into the haze of sleep. He didn’t know and he didn’t think he’d ever know. If he did then stiles would never be able to hear it. The only thing he ever heard were the sounds of the bed creaking and cries from the two omega. 

Feeling his heart clench he fell into a sleep next to his mate. 

“Derek,” the name was said low enough to be breathless, yet it was loud enough to travel through the door. It was pain filled tinted with a hint of desperation. The voice sounded lost, looking for a savior. It was distinctly male and Stiles fought the urge to open his eyes. No, it shouldn’t be time for this. He could feel Derek’s breathing becoming slightly faster as he probably smelled the pheromones that Isaac was giving off in his heat. The leg that was intertwined with his own was slowly leaving and he started to feel cold. 

It shouldn’t have been this quick he only had the man for a few hours. Stiles realized he had failed again. Their alpha calling them subconsciously, for pleasure he would never get from Stiles. A rough fucking he could never give his mate. He tried to keep his breath from speeding up but knew that his heart was already beating faster. The feel of dried cum still coating his legs and ass becoming more noticeable. 

He hated this cycle, one that he couldn’t break. The one that had repeated wouldn’t stop. He hated the fact that it wouldn’t stop because Derek had to be the good alpha. He hated himself for not being enough and if only he was an omega he would have been enough for him. Most of all he hated-

The bed lifted up as the extra weight disappeared as he feigned sleep. No, he couldn’t fake it. Derek probably knew he was up the moment he heard Isaac at the door. He couldn’t not hear how hard his heart was pounding at the thought of being forced to listen to again, no, not forced it was his own doing, a sort was it penance for not being able to give what he needed. To listen as someone actually satisfied his mate. .

. . Those damn Thin Walls.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Ending A/N: So what did you people think of this story? Does it fit as a sequel to the original? I want to work on the rest of this series, but I don't want to write it if no one reads it so i'll make a deal. If Tassos likes it or a few people request it I'll work on next in the series.
> 
> Comment, Kudos, Feedback is all appreciated. Bookmark as well if you want.
> 
> I have a tumblr and am always looking for followers!  
> [ Here](http://curseofsin.tumblr.com/)
> 
> **doesn't know if people will even like/read this and pouts** Let me know how bad I did.  
> Also if anyone knows how to get indents in this let me know I'd appreciate it.  
> **crawls under a rock**


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